4 months

My darling girl,
Today I sit here wondering where did the tiny little newborn that we brought home from the hospital with us all those months ago disappear too? Day by day you grow both in the physical and the developmental side of things. You no longer resemble that tiny new born in anyway but are and always will be my beautiful baby girl.

You are getting so strong and can hold your head up without support, you are reaching for objects and batting the things on your baby activity centre around. You can hold a rattle in your hands and are beginning to roll. You giggle and laugh as we talk to and play with you and when your not too tired you are an absolutely delightful baby.

Unfortunately tiredness and sleep is a big issue right now. During the day and up until around midnight you only want to sleep in my arms, If I put you down in your cot or swing within moments you wake up and then take an hour to resettle. After midnight you are happy to go down and will often sleep four to five hours which doctors say is considered to be sleeping through the night although i'm not sure I agree with them that four hours is sleeping through the night. Now that you are through the new born stage I am beginning to work on a bedtime routine, little things that we can do every sleep time that will help you settle and cue you to the fact that it is sleep time. I have some people telling me to sleep train you and that I should do controlled crying otherwise known as cry it out with you. This I will NEVER do and I hope that when you have children you will feel the same way about it as I do. I do not believe in leaving you to cry, sleep should be a welcome comfortable experience not one of distress and tears, o crying and screaming so hard until your throat hurts and you fall asleep, not because you have learnt to sleep but because you have learnt that nobody is going to come when you need them too. I never want you to think that I won't respond to your needs, never want you to think that I can ignore your distress and not response when you are sad and so I will NEVER ever just leave you to cry.

As a result of you not wanting to sleep anywhere but my arms we spend a lot of time baby wearing as it allows me to do things around the house and play with your brother. I love baby wearing it makes me feel so close to you as I feel you breathing against my chest. I have become somewhat addicted to it now and we have multiple wraps in various colours. Once our baby wearings days are over I plan on saving my favourite wrap and storing it away in the hope that one day far in the future you will use it with your children.

I'm falling more in love with you every day my beautiful girl and while sometimes I get tired of always having you in my arms when your not with me I miss you within twenty minutes and take you back from your father. You are my darling little girl and I will always be here for you, always love you and do what ever I have too to protect you.

Love always
Mummy